Never HAD I Ever: Black Friday Edition

“You are not a Lux!” my sister said to me this afternoon.  “That is not a Lux thing to do.”

I don’t know what came over me.  Thursday night I found myself making a list, checking it twice, and heading to the Litchfield Wal-Mart at 9:45 PM.  “It’s the Litchfield Wal-Mart,” I said to myself.  “How crazy could it be?”

It turns out: crazy.  Not pepper-spray-your-fellow-shoppers crazy (this is Minnesota, after all), but certainly fill-the-aisles, no-carts-left, every-shopper-for-herself crazy.  I sheepishly brought my own, reusable tote bags, which I’m sure will be a Black Friday must next year, and I was glad I did.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to carry all my stuff.  I worked pretty hard last night, friends.

Sixty dollars and forty-five minutes later, I emerged victorious.  I had board games, a Fisher-Price Twirl and Spin Palace (or something), a fancy Play-Doh kit, Elmo PJs, a bunch of tupperware, and a few DVDs.  And sore arms.  Seriously, I need to start lifting weights.

It was surprisingly fun and speedy!  So fun and speedy, in fact, that I thought, “Why don’t I just go to ShopKo in Hutch?  There are a few little deals I want there.”  And so I drove half an hour to Hutchinson, where I joined about six thousand people waiting in a line that stretched around the block.

What were they all looking for at ShopKo?  I couldn’t tell you.  Once we got in the store, it really didn’t seem that crowded, and I easily scooped up stocking candy, an Elmo outfit (it’s for Mike), and a few items I can’t mention till after Christmas.  Then I went to find the end of the checkout line.

Holy buckets, people.  The reason the store didn’t feel crowded was that just about everyone was waiting in that line.  It stretched the whole width and twice the length of the store.  It was epic.  It was boring.  My arms got even more sore.  (Pro Tip: I am not renowned for my physical strength.)

After an hour in line and another half hour in the car, I finally arrived at home, where I showed Mike most of my purchases and crawled into bed.  I felt happy but also ridiculous.

A few hours ago, Mike went downstairs and discovered that a leaking water pipe has been dripping slowly into an open box in the basement, so some of the just-purchased stocking candy is ruined, as are the boxes of some games Mike bought last Black Friday.  (Pro Tip: He is pretty excited to play Don’t Break the Ice with our daughter.)

There’s a lesson here somewhere.  And also a handful of sermon illustrations, I think.  But right now, I’m still too bleary-eyed to sort it all out . . .

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1 Comment

Filed under Minnesota Nice, Never Had I Ever

One response to “Never HAD I Ever: Black Friday Edition

  1. Pingback: Black Friday Fight Song | Never Done It That Way Before

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