Fruit Luncheons and Dairy Queen Corp. Demands

A theatre café in Auckland, 1913

I wish I could visit the cozy tea rooms of Messenger Bros. and enjoy the health benefits of a fruit diet!

They specialize in fruit luncheons, people.  If you’re not sure what that means, they spell it out for you: it means ice cream.

How that can be true (fruit ice cream?) I don’t claim to know.  But what a lovely idea!  It joins the list of things that sound light and healthy, but are not.  I’m looking at you, Frango Mints.  (Pro Tip: Frango Mints are not mints.  They are chocolate.)

Take one of my favorite places on earth, the Litchfield Dairy Queen.  I have written an impressive number of blog posts about this frozen treat oasis.  On Sunday night, as I stood in line to order two small Blizzards, I noticed this sign:

It’s true: I surreptitiously take photos at my local Dairy Queen, all for the love of you.

Bad news for Blizzard fans: no more sixteen-ounce “smalls”.

I know.  I know.  Sixteen ounces of ice cream and candy is not small.  But calling it small somehow made me feel like I was getting away with something.  And it made that twelve-ounce “mini” seem downright abstemious.

So, that party’s over, but there’s some comfort in knowing that the Litchfield DQ has my back.  It wasn’t their idea.  The suits at the Dairy Queen corporation demanded this change.

It is, I must say, cold comfort (see what I did there?), but I’ll take it with my twelve-ounce small.

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14 Comments

Filed under Marvelous Miscellany, Taste and See

14 responses to “Fruit Luncheons and Dairy Queen Corp. Demands

  1. Liz L.

    cold comfort=hilarity!

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  2. Bah to the corporate machine! On the topic of healthy ice cream, one of my coworkers makes ice cream (a.k.a. super thick slushy) in her blender with skim milk, frozen bananas, and frozen strawberries. She let’s her kids have it for breakfast because, “A glass of milk and a banana is a healthy meal, so why not an ice cream made from the same ingredients?” That is rational I can support and may be the Messenger Bros. guiding principle.

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    • Oooh, that sounds delicious! I am about to put some bananas in the freezer today, too. Of course, this would entail Finding My Blender, which I (obviously) don’t use very much. But this is basically a smoothie, right? And that’s all the rage for breakfast these days.

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  3. Rae

    WHAT?! Based on my normal ice cream intake, 16 ounces is still a “small” amount. Although I usually order a large and have my husband eat a few (read: two) bites to make myself feel better since I didn’t eat the entire thing myself.

    I’m going to need to check with my local small-town MN DQ about this…and test the new sizes out myself.

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    • Ha! I had no trouble finishing it. (Okay, I admit it. I ordered the medium. What’s in a name, right?) I think the Litch DQ was a renegade as far as its sizing went, and they are now in line with what the DQ Corp. decrees. A very sad day.

      But I think your unborn child needs you to order the large. Calcium, Rae. It’s important.

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  5. Ladies, I love your very sound reasoning skills when it comes to ice cream and Blizzards. I always offer hubs some, but he seldom even wants a taste. But then I don’t feel bad if it is up to me to eat it all by myself. I DID offer! My rational is more straight forward: “But it’s been weeks since I had one,” or ” I haven’t eaten anything except breakfast and it will be dinner,” or “Anything in moderation is OK, we are only having a green salad for dinner.” A fair trade in calories in my opinion. 😀

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