1. Mosquitoes the size of Buicks roam freely.
2. Wal-Mart is sold out of the Benadryl Itch Relief Stick, the only product your daughter will accept to soothe her golf-ball-sized mosquito bites.
3. Instead, soothe that mosquito-inflicted pain at any number of Pie and Ice Cream Socials.
4. Because you were outside in the evening eating pie and ice cream, return to step one. Repeat as needed until the crickets sing and fall arrives.
How do you know it’s summer where you are?