Against Family Fun

MCCALL MAGAZINE, HOMEMAKING COVER, KNITTING LESSON

You almost had me.

When that seductive packet arrived in the mail, trailing balloon stickers and whispering about a free gift, I was tempted.  I was tempted by your low-priced introductory offer, by your no frills, sweet and simple name: Family Fun.

But then I got to know you better in the waiting room at the doctor’s office.  And I knew that it was just not meant to be.

I’ll tell you what sealed your fate, Family Fun.  It was the sentence that began, “When your kids are craving sushi . . .”  I don’t remember the rest of the sentence, but I don’t need to, because that has never, ever happened to me.  (Pro Tip: If you had said something like, “When your kids are demanding mac and cheese for breakfast . . . “, you might have won me over.)

But let’s be honest.  It was never going to work out between us.  You are full of charming craft ideas, and I am simply not a crafty mother.  I am a loving mother, a reading mother, a playing and snuggling and singing and dancing and occasionally a baking mother.

But please, please don’t give me a frog template and assume that I have craft foam in my craft cupboard.  Don’t assume that I have a craft cupboard.  (Pro Tip: I don’t have a craft cupboard.)

See?  I am not the mother for you, and you are not the magazine for me.

I hope we can still be friends.

And if I am ever tempted to imagine myself as a crafty mother . . . I’m pretty sure that’s what Pinterest is for.

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4 Comments

Filed under Marvelous Miscellany

4 responses to “Against Family Fun

  1. LOL says it all for me!

    Like

  2. This is why I’m such a fun of busy bags — let someone else do the packaging and let the kid do the assembly!

    Like

  3. sue

    Grace really enjoyed the stickers in the promotional packet they sent. And I affirm the use of pinterest for this purpose!

    Like

  4. Pingback: Parenting Unvarnished | Never Done It That Way Before

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